about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He better not be in your backpack
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
