I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
