is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
