We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
