I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
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The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How does one acquire holy water?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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