I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
