So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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