I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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