I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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