Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
