A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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