Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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