FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
