State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
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ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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