I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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