Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
