I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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