So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
