I wanna bring you to show and tell
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
