AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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