If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
