I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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