doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
