My friends, they love my intelligence
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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