Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
