i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
