You just made me feel so damn special
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
