I'm pants shitting drunk right now
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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