i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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