I CAN MOONWALK!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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