Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!

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(512): View more from Texas

will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?

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(807): View more from Ontario

her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza

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(214): View more from Texas

How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?

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