You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
