Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
