I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
