I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
