i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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