I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
