I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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