It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
