Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
