That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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