Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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