What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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