It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
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She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
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You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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