the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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