This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
