So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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