# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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