I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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