Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
