How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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