See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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