youre lurking in front of me
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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