We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
