Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
