He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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