4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
A+ Viking dick
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