You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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