THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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