ya dads aren't the best wingmen
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
