I feel great
I just peed on a car
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
