bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
