Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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