mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
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We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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