Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
