Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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